"Since childhood, I have had many questions. There are blue skies and clouds up above. There are trees in the mountains. And then there are people. I always wondered where all these things came from and why I was born and where I will go when I die. If I’m here on this earth, there should be a reason and purpose, but no matter how many great men and women are remembered through our history, they will eventually be forgotten over time."
Whatever I Do, Whatever I Achieve, Nothing Remains
I’ve always led a religious life, but my empty heart has never been filled. When my husband suddenly became paralyzed, I started having money problems. My oldest child was in the fourth grade of elementary school, and my youngest was four years old. At first, I had my own business and later I started to work with a partner. Business was a very long journey for me. I was running a waste wood recycling factory. Large fires had destroyed the whole factory. One time, the factory was destroyed by typhoons. I couldn’t buy mechanical parts to rebuild my factory because I had no money.
Two auctions came and went, and I experienced a complete seizure of my business. According to my accounting, I had hundreds of people to whom I owed money. I was sitting on a huge pile of debt and for several years I was getting tons of calls per day from collections agencies. I was having trouble dealing with everything in my business. Soon, I began to experience health problems from the stress.
At one point, I even had to go to the emergency room for my health issues. On the outside, I was trying to show a brave face, but inside, I really envied those who didn’t have a care in the world. I was becoming very sick and I was constantly stressed about money problems. I prayed ten thousand times a day with desperation in my heart. I prayed 500 times every morning. I would pray that I would not hurt anybody who had helped me. I would ask God not to take my life until I could make good toward those who had helped me.
One day, I stumbled across a brochure for meditation. Among the information was an article entitled, ‘There is a method to cleanse your mind.’ But I couldn’t take the time to start meditating right away. One day after I’d had a day off, I headed to the meditation center immediately because I thought, if I don’t go today, I may never go.
All of My Questions, Resentments and Hatred Have Disappeared and I Feel Like I’m Flying
This meditation is amazing. During the meditation session, the questions of “Where do people come from and where do they go when they die” were answered. My harsh attitude gradually improved as my mind was cleansed. Before, when I had difficulties while running my business, my business partner and I became enemies. He always wanted to know what I did while he was working so hard. This attitude always made me resentful and angry with him every day. Once I abandoned that thinking and I started to be grateful for all of the people in my life – things changed.
Looking back at myself, even if I considered him as an enemy, he was always very accepting of me. I was grateful for him and I realized that my anger and resentment was entirely my fault. When my factory was about to go into bankruptcy, there was a man who tried to hand over our factory to another place for auction, and he was my relative. I was so resentful to him and I had deeply rooted anger. It was always hell to see him at every family gathering. I let go of all of those things one by one. I repented with tears running down my face and I abandoned my anger towards him.
One day, I saw him by chance at a wedding and I didn’t feel any anger towards him and was able to have a friendly conversation with him. It was such a surprise to me. As I practiced this meditation, I threw away all the “pictures” of all my memories. I threw away everything that is not beneficial in my life.
Now I feel like I’m flying. I’m as free as a bird. I also know that every single thing in this life is precious and everyone has their own part. I know that everything comes from the mind. The only thing left now is gratitude. I almost paid off all of my debt. I sincerely thank everyone who helped me.
source : www.meditationusa.org/blog